The Duh-mension

Castles and stuff

Right back to it. I'm slow. Sue me.

Where was I. Ah, yes, traveling north to Inverness, we visited the lovely and popular Urquhart Castle in Drumnadrochit on the north side of Loch Ness. Urquhart Castle is the number one visitors attraction in Scotland.

 

Despite the crappy weather, this was worth the stop, as the castle itself, like most Scottish castles has quite the history.

We then stopped in Fort Augustus for a brew and lunch. Somehow Mel ended up with a Coors, which was not to her liking. I think she asked for a Tennants. How it became mixed up with Coors Light, is anyones guess. An apparent communications breakdown with the bartender.

Anyway, we found our lodgings for the evening atthe Glen Albyn Lodge - a fantastic B&B owned by a warm, humorous, and welcoming British couple, Dennis and Helen.

Since it was pouring down rain and we had no idea what to do, Dennis suggested we hike over to the Invergarry castle ruins.

The cool thing about Scotland, and I suspect much of the UK, is the "go at your own risk" thing. Meaning, there is no "private property", and you can go where you like.

So, if the ruins are, say, fenced in with piles of construction paraphenalia and signs such as the following, you can still go in. And if you break a fingernail - or your neck, you can't sue. Oh, how nice that would be in the States.

Yes, we "ignored at our own peril" and squeezed through a hole in the wire fencing.


It was nice to see a castle ruin in its skeletal form minus all the placards and neat illustrations explaining what everything was. We stood in the silence, listening to the rain and imagined what it was.

Plus managing to not puncture ourselves on rusty nails meant no tetnus, so it was a win-win.

Awa' North

Right, so. Having had a wee taste of Edinburgh, we began our travels north.

I had the bright idea to rent a car from the City location. A city whose downtown streets are currently undergoing a massive restructuring to accommodate a new rail system.

Yep, bright idea.

We did however get a Mercedes with only 600 miles on the odometer. And it was very, very small. A true miracle, because so many of the quaint little streets are...yes, you guessed it...very, very narrow. This lovely, black, midgit-sized vehicle smelled new and leathery and had lots of bells and whistles. (This would be not-at-all handy if we went over a ravine, or managed to drive into a sheep paddock.)

So with trepidation, we headed north.

I managed to hit only one curb on the way out town. It's been a few years since driving on the left side of the road in the right side of the car, so it took me a little while.

Our first stop was Stirling.

This lovely little hamlet is famous for events involving William Wallace who fought and won the battle of Stirling Bridge in 1297 against an the English army. The are is also famous for the Battle of Bannockburn, where Robert the Bruce's defeat of another occupying English army secured Scottish independence in 1314.

Some of you may be thinking that you know all about William Wallace and Robert the Bruce due to Braveheart, but you'd be wrong. Much of that film was historically inaccurate.

Robert the Bruce statue (left).

We decided not to go into Stirling Castle, as, again, things were going to add up fast and some of these historical sites aren't cheap.

So we settled for walking around a little and going up the road to just outside the little town of Callander, where we hiked the 15 minutes or so to Bracklinn Falls (below)

 
 

Again, I apologize for the crappy pictures. Some of them just didn't come out.

At this point, we decided to eat, and it is at this point that I can say, unequivocally, we found the best food in Scotland.

And by accident, too.

The Mytle Inn happened to be completely deserted when we went in, but that didn't stop the wonderful proprietors from serving up the best food we had on the trip.

I ordered the butternut squash soup and garlic bread, while Mel ordered the steak pie, which by all accounts is standard pub fare in the UK. Neither of these selections was standard.

By the time I thought to take a picture, the 'standard fare' had been thoroughly inhaled.

Seriously. Inhaled.

But I managed a nice picture of the many varieties of whiskey that had so lovingly been 'consumed on the premises'.

Cheers!

 

Edinburgh's dark side

Discovering a city by night can be rather eye-opening, and well worth it to stay out past the 'Witching Hour'. And I wasn't disappointed. Edinburgh provides a feast of history after dark, as well as some exceptionally talented and engaging Scots men and women to serve it.

First up, Mercat Tours. It's truly worth the few quid to spend time with a guide who can engage a group of people from a variety of places for nearly two hours with the history and ghostly encounters of several centuries.

Our guide, Faith, was well-versed, and thoroughly engrossing as she regaled us with some damn nasty tales of just how much fun people had watching their fellow citizens being tortured.

I have a strong stomach, but even I found the discussion pegging at least a eight-point-five on the Ick-Factor Scale as she explained just exactly what happens to a person's tongue after its bound between two sticks and slowly tightened. 

That was just the punishment for lying.

Tell that one to the kids next time they fib and see what happens.

Not for the squeamish, certainly. But an absolute must to liven the atmosphere for the ensuing tales of ghostly sightings.

The tour wound down with a tour of some of the vaults located beneath South Bridge.

These vaults, like so many of the underground passages in Edinburgh, have their own stories to tell (some of them seriously sinister).

It appears quite a few psychics have verified that some of the occupants are still very much 'alive' and active in the vaults and it makes for a fantastic setting.

I managed to take an interesting pic of Faith in the vaults.

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Tour number two: The City of the Dead Tour given by Black Hart Entertainment.

It can never be said that I am a chickensh*t. I went on the next tour by myself. Mel flat out refused to attend, so I left her at the pub.

This tour takes you into Greyfriars Cemetery and into Covenanters Prison and the Black Mausoleum where exists the Mackenzie Poltergeist, which is claimed to be the best documented supernatural case in history. (Check out Black Hart's site and read about the poltergeist and all the accounts. Whether or not you are a believer in the supernatural, the evidence of something seriously weird going on is very compelling.)

Because of this, these guys don't screw around. It's very clearly stated on their Website and in their leaflets:

WARNING: The Mackenzie Poltergeist can cause genuine physical and mental distress. You join the tour at your own risk.

Um, so, definately not frae the faint of heart.

Our guide for the evening was Gerry. Like a one-man Hamlet, Gerry's storytelling talent engaged a crowd of twenty-plus for at least two full hours. How he managed that without going horse, I have no idea. Gerry, if you read this, you rocked it, dude!

Edinburgh boasts more folks buried under it then live people currently inhabiting it. Add that little piece of knowledge to an ass-numbingly cold, windy night, complete with the sound of leaves 'shooshing'* over the shadows of many a damaged headstone, and you've got yourself a whole lot of Creepy going on.

Freaking awesome!

I'm not going to go into the history of the Covenanters Prison. There are a ton of sites that can give you the history better than I can. Suffice it to say, if you take this tour (encounter or not) you will not be dissapointed.

  

*shooshing is a word in my world.

The Bonny Tour: Part One

Right. So. Amazing how little one cares about seeing a desired destination when you arrive on .85 hours of sleep out 24.

But, my best friend and I managed to not fall asleep on our feet as we began a look-see around Edinburgh.

And because our hotel wasn't accepting check-ins until 2pm--roughly six hours from the time we arrived.

And because it would turn out to be the only really nice day of the six we were to spend there.

Apologies for the overexposure.

We went as far in as we could, but decided not to do the tour. Kind of pricey.

But cool, anyway. Seriously.

It is rather awe-inspiring to be facing a structure with many centuries of history to its credit.

Edinburgh is the seventh largest city in the UK, and has some of the richest--and most--gruesome history around...er, as I came to find out through a few ghost tours (but that's the next post).

 

Due to our weariness, there were random moments of hilarity. These moments may have only been funny because we both were walking zombies at this point--all Jello-y legs and yawning maws stumbling around taking pictures.

Considering that Edinburgh has more dead folks buried under it than live ones walking around, it was fitting. I figure it will be ground zero for the next zombie apocalypse, so we were really just practicing the footwork. We got some looks when we started shouting "Brains!" though.

Ahem.

We found a bench to park ourselves on along Princes Street, which was out of the way of the zillions of runners out for the Edinburgh Marathon. Great timing on our part.

The bench had this sticker on it.

I thought it was funny.

I was tired.

Sue me.

We did a lot of wandering around. Edinburgh really is a feast for the eyes. Even weary ones like ours. All medieval architecture and curious little alleyways (closes).

Edinburgh is a walking city, and we came across a particular piece of street art that caused a moment's pause.

I believe the conversation went something like:

Me: It looks like they tried for some sort of fertility-goddess-like resemblance.

Mel: or a steaming pile of Sh*t.

The women captured behind this was depositing her cigarette ashes into it.

Yep, art is so totally subjective.

At this point, we had to sleep, so we went back to our lodging and looked pathetic enough to be checked in early.

Ghost tours up next.

OCH, AYE!

I'm off to the bonny wee island of Scotland for a tiki tour and a dram o'whiskey. I'll have all the pics and crazy stories when I return!